How To Deal With Shyness

Shyness is something I've struggled with my whole life; from not wanting to go to school because I'd feel sick at the thought or just not wanting to join in blogger chats in fear of being disliked. I find it hard sometimes but I've built up some tips and tricks that help me daily!

Tip 1-

When heading into a new situation think of the worst thing that could happen. It's kind of exposing yourself to the situation and then you can plan how to get out of it. So say you're going to talk for someone for the first time, the worst the could happen (rationally) is that they will ignore you, if that does happen you just leave. It's no big deal and in most situations it's another person being rude and nothing to do with you. I find this really helps me because I've already planned my response and I wont be in shock or surprised if anything bad does happen; it puts me at ease if I have a backup plan.

Tip 2-

You have to start viewing yourself how you view others. A lot of my shyness is down to being insecure, I think once you challenge your insecurities, you can deal with shyness better. When I see a someone walking in the street I always notice the good things about them like "wow their hair looks nice" or "their figure is amazing" you dont start tearing them down in your head, so why do that to yourself? It's obvious that other people think like this about you too so just try and be more positive and before you go out pick out good things about how you look, instead of bad and I'm sure you will feel more confident. 

Tip 3-

Make goals and push yourself. I'm very shy about speaking infront of people but I love debating and I'm on a debate team, so in order to tackle my shyness I set goals to help, for example I set a goal to put my hand up in  class that day. It sounds like a small thing but for me it takes a lot and by doing this and progressively pushing myself more and more I was able to speak in my first debating competition. I think by working slowly and building up to things you're able to achieve better, so after the competition I'm still getting better at battling my shyness, I'm now better at answering phone calls and speaking to people who I dont know. Im not all the way there because I' m still very quiet and I was at the competition but it was still a big step and working towards it through goals worked really well to push me but not scare me by moving too fast.

Tip 4-

Smile! I'm very awkward because of my shyness so I find it hard approaching new people because I feel like they'll just sense my awkwardness. I've found the best way to get over this is be very smiley and laugh if you mess up in a sentence; it makes you seem more confident and it makes others feel more comfortable around you because if you stand there and get upset if you mess up others will feel uncomfortable, by laughing it off it eases the situation. 

Tip 5-

Make yourself comfortable. I find that i'm particularly shy if I feel bad about how I look, this is a totally separate thing for me to get over in time but for now I can help this, which in turn helps my shyness. If I know I'll be in a public situation or people will be looking at me, I like to put on makeup because it help me feel better knowing I feel good about how I look. This tip is optional to what make you feel comfortable but I think doing what you can to accommodate yourself really helps. Also if you are feeling bad about the situation, know that its ok to say no. If you dont want to speak to someone new because you dont feel nice, just leave, dont make do something thats too much for you. Obviously push yourself but also know your limits.

Tip 6-

Know that your shyness is part of you. I think it's ok to battle your shyness when its stopping you from doing things but you also have to know it's a part of your personality. I used to always want to be completely confident and not shy at all but thats not me, i'm much more reserved and introverted; I dont like to be center of attention and I am a bit quiet but that's ok. You have to accept that it is you and it make you special. I try and change it when it's stopping me achieving but I know I cant change my personality, nor should I want to.

A little quote from my mam "Don't let other peoples eyes be your cage"

Hope this helped you xox